Alright all my readers it’s once again the weekend and you know what time it is….well you probably don’t, but usually it means it’s movie time. Which means time for commentary during: Black Swan. Let’s do this thing!
-Oh look such a graceful standing in dancer
-OMM! It’s starring Nota Playtapus!
-That dress looks like a plastic bag
-Thanks for spoilers guys. Seriously the entire opening is one big foreshadowing
-Oh! She’s having a vision! I get it
-Fly fly swan fly fly!
-What’s with the Shirley Temple room? (RIP Shirley Temple)
-Pushy mean mother much?
-Clingy mother much?
-I can see I am going to have an issue with the mother
-Oh shllit she’s seeing herself in a black outfit
-Why shaky cam guys? This isn’t a found footage movie nor action
-Dang blitchy dancers cliche
-Mima Cutties!
-Destroying new shoes?
-I’m confused about the shoes motif
-Nota Platypus can’t relax. Tight wad much?
-Impress time…for creepy curly head master
-Why’s he gotta wear a scarf inside?
-Why are they doing this one move over and over again?
-Practicing while sitting down
-it looks like a really cold hallway
-Winona Ryder? Why are you in this movie? And not the star? 🙁
-Creeping on a dressing room? This is one creepy child
-She just stole someone elses lipstick
-Girl do you know where that’s been?
-And Twirly Twirly Twirly Stop
-Oh wow Nota Platypus can’t seduce people, shocker.
-Mumble Cuteness is over confident
-Yay ballerina pucking?
-Oh look Mommy dearest is calling
-Great hallucinations again the only interesting part
-if it wasn’t Nota Platypus she was seeing
-And she’s a cry baby great
-There has to be a reason for the way they dress
-DANG! Split toe nail, they torture themselves
-Oh great mother forced her into ballet
-Controlling mother trying to live her life through her 30 year old daughter
-Now she’s putting on that someone elses lipstick, ick.
-OH GODS! Here comes the creepy
-She doesn’t loose herself, because she’s insane!
-3…2…1…and theres the kiss facepalm
-misunderstanding cliché
-now everyone likes her?
-Oh surprise surprise she got picked for Swan Queen
-What’s with the huge mirrors in the hallway
-OH GODS Nota Platypus pictures are everywhere!!!
-Scratches?
-CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Oh shlit she pissed off mommy dearest
-Talk about mental abuse
-Um never in my life have I ever wanted to see Nota Platypus nipples. NEVER EVER!
-Now her failing at the black swan again
-Miniture Cuteness is trying to take her spot! But probably isn’t….or is she
-Yay, flowers?
-Yay, party?
-What’s with all the close ups?
-Can I please see the scenery?
-Whoohoo Winona Ryder!
-His little princess? Something went on there
-Mutter Clueless laughs
-Hang nail…of death!
-HALLUCINATIONS!!!!
-Cute dress?
-Mutiny Cuntness being nice
-Producer wants to get down her pants
-Creepy winged statue….IT’S A WEEPING ANGLE RUN!!!!!!!!!!!
-Winona Ryder being creepy (frigged girl line burn)
-Really is a cute dress
-He really wants to get down pants
-She’s not a virgin (she’s lying)
-Personal question awkwardness
-“Go home and touch herself?”
-Oh yeah he wanted all of her to himself
-Mother won’t even let her have earrings
-Mother being mean cutting off her finger nails. Saying she has a disgusting habit
-Really? She’s touching herself?
-most stupid pleasure face i’ve ever seen
-um what is she doing
-MOTHER IN THE ROOM!!!
-Oh good she’s asleep
-Fake tears about Winona being in the hospital.
-Dude has beak nose
– “It IS Nota Platypuses moment”
-This guy really wants her, he’s trying everything
-Daw Nota Platypus brought Winona flowers
fixing up her dressing room
please tell me you are going to beat your mothers head in with that bar?
Mother was crying
Yelling at Platypus for failing at black swan
Oh wow, ballerinas have massage therapists?
Yelling in 3…2…1…well not yellling but insulting her about guys not wanting to have sex with her
Producer seducing her while dancing
Now he’s kissing her and they are making out?
She needs to seduce people?
Mute Klutzy and Nota Platypus try to bond
Really again with the masturbation scenes? I really never wanted to see this.
Now she’s hallucinating more, she looks more interesting as a hallucination than as herself
Dude Producer is harsh, but he’s right.
Someone needs to beat some of the dancers butts
Oooh cat fight the most interesting part so far
Ick old man being vulgar
Nota Platypus looks better with her hair down
Whoa she’s sticking up for herself with her mother
She told Mommy dearest NO!
“oooo”
What is Mimi Cuteness there?
Drinks?
Oh, she’s going out! Living on the wild side.
Maybe Muttering Cuntness will help Nota Platypus relax.
Mother’s calling
So Platypus sees her put drugs in her drink…yet she drinks it?
Alright lets see Nota Platypus trip
Guys won’t come to a ballet show
She’s fucking it up with the guy
Wow, gruesome tale there Nota Platypus
You know for ballerinas they don’t dance to well, she’s seeing herself as the black swan now?
Wow, she’s tripping hard
One would not randomly fall out of a trip like that I think
More masturbation? Nope denied
Mother Dearest stayed up.
Um….a lot is going on right now, but girl on girl action is happening. Um….Um….
I’ve lost words.
She’s hallucinating during a hallucination okay then…
So that happened….or did not happen?
She’s late
Oh shlit Cuntness is trying to steal her spot for the black swan!
Hey don’t hit the music box! It didn’t do anything to you!
Hallucinations getting worse
Cuntness was made alternate
Nota Platypus is crying to the producer
Producer trying to be supportive and caring
yay more practice?
Dude the pianist is a jerk. He just said he had a life and walked out.
I really should have done a hallucinations count on this thing
No I will not rewatch to do that
This movie is actually kind of boring, it takes to long to get to the “good parts”
Producer having sex with Cuntness?
NO! Winona stop it!
Oh, dang, she’s really far gone if she stabbed Winona
These hallucinations are starting to act like ghosts
Is she haunted
The paintings started freaking out on her.
Feathers are growing out of her back, she’s turning into a swan and she crushed her mothers hand
Mother trapped her in her room
Okay Nota Platypus is getting better. I like her acting like a nut rather then how she was acting.
It’s almost time for her to go on
The big moment…….!!!
Wow she’s on a big red stage with a moon
the swan dress looks pretty
Swan dancers are laughing evilly
OH! He dropped her!
She’ll do better if she has to kill for it….
Hallucinations are taking on Cuntnesses face and then hers
She has finally embraced the black swan
Did she kill Cunnesses?
LOL! Just drag her with the glass why don’t ya?
You’ve gotta get in make up
The black swan looks really badarse
She’s has officially passed into full on hallucinating
CGI black wings
Now whom seducing whom mister producer
a pink towel will not hide blood.
Who is at the door?
Holy shlit! Cuntness is alive! So who’s blood?
NO BLOOD!!! O.O
What’s going on?!
What the fluck?
Who the fluck?
OH!
She stabbed herself!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She Killed herself!!!!
You know if she would have left that shard of glass in she would have survived. It was blocking the blood flow.
Or you know gotten help when she realized it.
This is almost like the Red Shoes, where she dances herself to death.
Why does no one see the blood on her dress? I mean we can see it
So why can’t others?
Finally the one thing I’ve been waiting for…..
HER DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!! The entire reason I watched the movie was to watch her die!
Her final words are Perfect.
I think her producer might have fallen in love with her actually? Speculation?
The end.
So that was the Black Swan, my thoughts, well you saw my thoughts, however I really found it boring up until the hallucinations got worse. Natalie Portman was Nota Platypus if you couldn’t tell and Mila Kunis was Cuntness, or Mumble Cuteness, or Mimi Cutties. To be honest I like Mila Kunis, I just felt like being mean. But I do not like Natalie Portman her acting bugs me. I know a lot of people like her which is good and fine. To each their own, but I think she acts the same way in every movie. Allthough, she is a hella lot better then Kristen Stewart. Or as Daddy likes to call her Constipation girl.
Actually, I think this movie would have been better if it had been the Red Shoes. The actress/dancer dies in the end anyway, and that movie/ballet is looking for a remake or a movie adaptation. So, did you like the commentary? What did you think about the movie? Did you have some of the same thoughts? Did you like the movie? If so left me know with a comment. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have a wonderful night. Toodles!
Openly Yours,
DanniDarkness
